September 21, 2020 is World Gratitude Day, and we’d like you and the children in your life to join in the celebration with us! One of the 24 character strengths that make up the backbone of Shipley’s positive education framework, gratitude can be a powerful tool to help you flourish. Research indicates there are both emotional and physical health benefits when gratitude is practiced regularly, including: increased happiness, improved sleep and physical health, a more optimistic outlook, increased meaning and life satisfaction, stronger relationships, and greater success.

For most of my career, my mantra regarding avoidance of difficulty has been, “Don’t let children believe ‘The world is dangerous,’ or ‘I can’t handle it.’ One of the problems with the COVID-19 crisis is that some activities that were previously considered normal and non-threatening (e.g. shaking hands, hugging your friends, going to school) are now considered dangerous. We are all navigating this new and seemingly ever-changing environment, determining what parts of the world are actually “dangerous.” So, my focus this year will be on the second statement, “I can’t handle it,” and helping children, adolescents, and adults replace that with a more resilient statement such as, “I can handle it,” “I got this,” or “We can do this.” At home, parents can, and should, adopt these mantras, too, so children can build resilience to handle uncertainty.

In the early Autumn of 2016 I helped host a talk by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky (whom you saw some research from in our previous post). If Marty Seligman is one of the “fathers” of the field, we ought to consider Sonja one of the “mothers.” As we waited for the crowd to gather and pile into the auditorium we were chatting about the name of the field—Positive Psychology. Sonja became visibly annoyed. “It’s a terrible name, I hate it,” she told me. I knew why. I felt (and still feel) similarly. We’d both had to endure countless interactions with audiences, students, or clients who inevitably ask, “Is it just about thinking positively?” No, no it is not. Positive Psychology, on the most basic level, is simply devoted to understanding the science of human flourishing. That scientific study has revealed an unfortunate truth. What helps us flourish is often not pleasant. 

Meaning put the M in PERMA+, psychologist Martin Seligman’s scientific theory for maintaining well-being. Finding meaning in our lives looks different for all of us. For some, it may come from a spiritual or religious place. Others may find purpose through work, a vocation, or a hobby. Wherever it comes from, meaning lives beyond the individual, representing something greater than ourselves. Finding meaning has been tied to improved health, greater resilience, and increased life satisfaction. Here are some resources to help you discover it in your life.

Relationships make the world go ’round, and as the “R” in PERMA, they’re vital to maintaining well-being. The need to experience positive, meaningful connections with others is a biological imperative, and we should tend to our relationships with care. It’s important for us to build healthy connections, ones in which we give and also receive the benefits of those bonds—including joy, compassion, advice, companionship, and so much more. People with positive relationships can claim healthier and longer lifespans, more resilience, better performance at work, as well as many other life perks. So how can we connect and engage meaningfully with others in a time of physical distancing? Here are some resources to help you.

Are you looking for ways to celebrate Earth Day from home? Here's a list of books to read and programming to watch in honor of your favorite planet. Whether young or old, there's something here to make  everyone in your house happy.

Engagement is what you experience when an activity completely absorbs you. It’s a process, an action that puts you fully in the moment and can provide an emotional response in the form of joy, calm, or happiness. Engagement-inducing activities can also trigger a series of chemical releases in your body that create an actual physical feeling of well-being. That rush can cause you to lose track of time and transcend any sense of self-consciousness—what some refer to as Flow. 

Most parents have heard the following at some point from their child: “You just don’t understand!” It is probably true. Children today deal with such different challenges than their parents ever did, from sports commitments and social media pressures, to the college admissions process. It is a wonder we have any common ground at all on which to base a conversation. A few years back, I attended a workshop for teachers on “listening” through the Stanley H. King Counseling Institute. With help from the workshop, as well as what I have learned from Eastern philosophy as a yoga teacher, I have made a number of changes, both to my parenting and my teaching of teenagers, and it has paid off tremendously. They are such simple strategies, yet I did have to learn how to be purposeful in my use of them.

At Shipley, we spend the month of November giving special focus to the second half of our motto: Courage for the Deed; Grace for the Doing. Giving to others and giving thanks are hallmarks of this time of year, and they are undoubtedly acts of grace.